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12/30/2005 Don't Cry Out LoudDon't Cry Out Loud
Baby cried the day the circus came to town Don't cry out loud Baby saw that when they pulled that big top down Don't cry out loud Don't cry out loud Don't cry out loud
http://www.badongo.com/file.php?file=song__2005-12-29_23+-+dont+cry+out+lo.mp3 12/28/2005 即将过去的2005年十一月过去时，心情一直不好。 可能因为惊觉一年又要过去了。自己总结了2005的大小事情。
一月——回家 来北京以后的每一个元旦都是在战战兢兢地备考。没有庆祝。然后就是考完后，匆匆忙忙shopping然后收拾行李回家。2005年是这样开始的。回家忙着大扫除、拜访亲友。忙着update朋友们的大小事情。然后惊叹又一个同学结婚了、一个当妈妈了。
二月——充电 新年回去吉打，然后一家去了Redang。想念从小飞机上看见的碧蓝海水。 跟身边的人讨论未来的计划。方向还没有确定。但是只要脑子在动，并且勤于跟亲友交流，更多的概念就会更清晰、更明确。 另外，渐渐觉得自己有一些帮助别人的能力了。
三月——舒展的春天 三月的第一天，在使馆"参见"Agong和Permaisuri Agong。我们唱了sejahtera malaysia & setia. 那天的歌声感动了自己。
四月——白忙 国际文化节筹办又取消。辛苦练习的马来舞没有机会上台。 连战来北大的早上去办公楼外凑热闹。
五月——唱啊唱 整个五月都被三十个不会唱歌的人占据。是第一次为了音乐站在舞台上。第一次对音乐认真。
六月——离别 天气大好的季节却碰上考试。 这次的离开北京最沉重。告别同住了两年的室友，还有很多好朋友。 回到KL开始实习。
七月——像一块海面一样拼命吸收 去了一趟国家动物园。看见了我想念的长颈鹿和大象。 发现自己对电视画面的敏感度不够。开始思考自己将来有没有投身电视的可能性。 参与一个电视节目的策划和制作。
八月——探索 因为工作所以认识塔罗牌。很神气的占卜术。 出外拍摄短片，找来妹妹和堂弟做临时演员。道具自己做。 好像今年看过最好的电影就是Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
九月——寂寞 告别KL，回来北大少了一些人又多了一些人。有一点迷茫。重新适应勺园。 不过，中秋节环绕未名湖提灯笼的队伍四年来最壮大的一年。
十月——忙碌 最忙的季节。花月影，国际文化节，期中考。
十一月——泪水 今年流的眼泪最多。为各种事情。
十一月大哭了三次。一次为失去大姑姑。两次为数学。
月初去了五月天演唱会。
十二月——考验 最难熬的一个月。要很勇敢很勇敢才能活下去。
比较难受的是，我竟然和大家一样，都不能接受不完美的自己，所以烦恼。
等1月6日以后再写。 12/19/2005 there's a price for everything.there's a price for everything. sharing a small room of 6m x 5m with another person can be irritating and chafing. having a roomate means sharing your space with another person, and giving up a certain degree of freedom and privacy. when the two have different preference in music, turning on music must be acknowledged politely beforehand. at times, compromising with messiness is important. you have to pretend that you don't notice the clothes hidden under the bed, ignore rotten food in the fridge and bread crumbs strewed on the floor... actually, i'm ok with things mentioned above, i tolerate or i ignore. because as long as the other half of the room (which is my side) remains clean and neat, i'm happy. however, being a person who values serenity and personal space so much, i wish i could live in a room of my own. it's kind of complicated. maybe the geminians gene of duality is rooted in me, i get along very well with others, i enjoy companion. but there's another side of me who needs a lot of space for myself, physically and mentally. things would be different IF i'm rich enough to pay for USD7 per day, with that i will be able to own the whole room and live by myself. i conclude this as: there's a price for privacy and also for living in your own way with no compromising here and there. time is another thing that is so costly. in order to move around with less hassle, i travel with taxi which save me a lot of time. i'm so grateful when i can move around in car. bus and subway is not always convenient tho they are much much cheaper than taxi. using public transports is ma fan. sometimes one trip will involve two or more interchanges of transportation that drags the journey way too long. it's a choice of losing money for time, or losing time for money. taking taxi to the embassy from pku cost rmb40 one way, approx. 20 minutes via the 4th ring road. taking bus will only cost rmb1-2, taking up nearly an hour to reach a nearby bus stop plus 15 minutes walk from bus stop to embassy. i normally give 1 1/2 hour estimation if i take bus to the embassy. by taxi, 30 mins will do. the time that i saved could be utilize for other things. now i truly understand the phrase time is gold. there are so many other things that has to be paid, either in the form of money or something else. parents are paying for our education. at the same time we're spending time and puting in effort to gain knowledge and get wiser. somehow, i realise that money has the magic to makes things easier. fastest way to get rich may be marrying a rich husband. but liberty might be given away as a price.
how should i weight the loss and gain of each and everything? |
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